Dear Sleeman’s

This is the letter I just sent to Sleeman’s. I’ll let you know if I get anything back from them.

——————

Dear Mr. Sleeman’s,

I’m writing you as I’m in utter dismay with shock and horror. I realize it’s Halloween and all but I’m still rather frightened. You see I went to open a beer while making dinner and watching the football game on Sunday afternoon. You know a typical and normal Sunday afternoon activity, all is well.

As I opened the beer with my faithful bottle opener I took the top off of the beer bottle right off from the threads up. As you can see in the picture.

Glass shards everywhere! Luckily I wasn’t harmed in the process. Sadly, the same can’t be said about the beer.

What is a guy to do when that happens? Do you risk drinking the beer and getting all cut up? Do you pour it into a glass? Do you filter the beer appropriately? But what is appropriate? So many questions….. So much confusion…..

Maybe I’m a lesser man then some? Maybe I didn’t have the appropriate means to filter the beer? Again, what is appropriate filter method? As you can see I had to resort to pouring the liquid down the drain.

I want to apologize for having to treat one of your fine product’s in such a manner. However, some may say I’m a fine product myself. So I just couldn’t risk drinking the beer. I sure hope you think I made the right decision.
Anyway, I just want to apologize for having to waste a beer in this way. If you could inform me of an appropriate filter method or the correct steps necessary for next time this happens that would be great. Or likewise is there a research team investigating better, stronger more durable bottles? If there is or if you’d like a dedicated “bottle opener tester” I’d be glad to assist.

Thanks for your time,

Jeff